I thought that I would be more upset over this break up than what I actually am. I know that might sound cold, but I figure it’s better to move on with my life than hold on to someone who can’t love who they are without being high or without cutting themselves or without starving themselves. I feel sorry for her, because I know how dependent she was on me - which in itself was unhealthy. I like how she thinks that I am not mature enough to deal with her eating disorder - is it me, or does that sound like a contradictory statement? Even my mom laughed at that one.
I’m just going to ignore her from now on - i figure it’s healthier and easier for me. Haha, it’s funny how i just typed out a whole paragraph expressing how worried i am for her, but then i thought, what the fuck.
She isn’t my problem anymore. Her issues are not my issues anymore.
and that is so liberating.
I’ve decided that my next girlfriend is going to be so different. She will have her drivers license. She will have a stable job or she will be studying something that is interesting or that has financial potential. She will be pretty. She will love herself. She will be emotionally stable. She will get on with my family and my friends. She will have her own money and will spoil me. Even if it takes me five years to find, i don’t mind waiting for something good like that. I also won’t randomly hook up with people until then, i find that kind of gross and it’s too easy to do.
Other than this drama and my stomach bug (which too, shall pass) i am doing just fine. I am thinking of taking up archery with my brother, I am spending time with my friends and family, I am successfully weening off my anti-depressants and i think my exam marks will be okay. And yeah..
I’m pretty happy :)